“Progress has not followed a straight ascending line, but a spiral with rhythms of progress and retrogression, of evolution and dissolution.”

As I lay in my bed contemplating my latest Dr’s appointment I am reminded of this truth as stated by Johann Wolfgang.

A loss of 7 pounds in 4 weeks and the doctor's threat of IV assisted nutritional supplement if I can’t gain control sit heavily on my mind. I am definitely in the section of retrogression and dissolution. 

I feel like a failure. Unable to keep down sufficient substance and liquid to support the growth of a little human.

My one responsibility and I feel like I am failing. 

But….I have to stop myself. 

This life moves in the rhythms of progress and retrogression. 

Growth and diminishment. 

Sickness and health. 

Success and failure. 

I have spent years before this point strengthening my body through exercise and a healthy balanced diet. I was definitely in the progress and evolution stage. 

So despite this uncontrollable weight loss, my blood tests all came back positive, the babies heartbeat is strong, and I am still relatively capable of completing all other duties. 

Overall life has remained in balance. The cycle has continued as it always has and always will. So as a reminder: Kim, whether you are progressing and evolving towards your goals and dreams OR regressing and dissolving to make way for a better future, I want you to know that you, just as you are RIGHT NOW, are enough. You are worthy of love. You are capable of achieving any dream. You are strong enough to endure all difficulties and trials. Trust the spiral rhythms as you learn to dance to the tune of your own song!

Pictured is the Spiral Rock located in the Far View ruin of Mesa Verda taken on my Road Trip over the summer.